


After Everything Has Ended

by TwoCrows



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Canon, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 14:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18345755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCrows/pseuds/TwoCrows
Summary: After everything has ended, after the world has died, there are only two broken souls left. Their past is one of suffering, their future is one of loneliness. And all that is left to the present are pain and sadness, and a longing for something that can fill the void inside of their hearts.





	After Everything Has Ended

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by _Everything you've ever dreamed_ by Shiro Sagisu

With a quiet rustle the can slipped into her plastic bag, clacking against the others. Asuka stuffed two more into it before she turned to the end of the row where Shinji was standing, thoughtfully gazing at the shelf.

“We better don’t take anything perishable”, he muttered as she stepped next to him, reaching for a few packages of crackers and stuffing them into his own bag. Then he gave her a questioning look.

“I’m done”, she said and followed him as he walked to the checkout counters.

It felt strange, she thought, walking through a supermarket filled with rows of food when there wasn’t a soul there. As if they were all just busy somewhere else…

They passed the conveyor belts that rolled aimlessly now, without a purpose, without a goal, without a value.

She had been so much like them, hadn’t she?

She had wanted to be acknowledged, wanted to be looked at. She hadn’t ever had anything like a goal that could be achieved. And now, there wasn’t even anyone there who could look at her.

No one except Shinji. But he… he didn’t really look at her at all. She was aware that his eyes passed over her from time to time, but she couldn’t feel any interest in them. She didn’t even know if he recognised her.

“I’m surprised you have no problems doing this”, she said when they made a stop in the shadow of a few trees, eating some of the food they acquired earlier.

She gave him a sidelong glance, but his face remained as unmoved as before.

“It was Man who made these rules. Now that he’s gone, they have lost their purpose. Thus they have lost their reason to exist.”

Asuka was speechless. Shinji’s gaze was fixed on the ground in front of him. He looked so hard. This wasn’t the shy, wimpy idiot she used to know.

Of course. The marks on her throat were proof of that.

“Do you… think that about us as well?” she asked, casting down her eyes too.

For a moment there was silence between them, a thick, dreary silence that seemed to linger even when Shinji answered.

“I do. We have neither a purpose nor a reason to go on.”

“Then… Why do you go on?”

“I don’t know.”

He took a deep breath and his gaze wandered off into the distance.

“I don’t know”, he repeated.

Asuka nodded slowly before she took a sip from her can.

Why had she even asked? Why had she even expected him to know? Shinji never knew anything, didn’t he?

Stupid fool! And someone like that had beaten her? Ridiculous!

Right. That was what she was. Ridiculous. She had said she was able to think for herself, to live by herself? Ridiculous.

Ridiculous! Ridiculous! Ridiculous!

She was weak, pathetic, ridiculous. And alone.

She was alone.

Kaji was gone. Misato was gone. Even Nigoki was gone. The only one left was this fool next to her who didn’t have any answers, who had never been able to help her.

Something crackled and Asuka noticed she had almost crushed the can in her hand. She shook her head, took a last gulp and threw it away.

“I guess we should get going”, she said. “Shinji?”

The boy stared at the squashed can in the grass. Apparently he didn’t even perceive anything around him anymore.

“Misato…” he whispered faintly.

After a moment Asuka heard a quiet sniffle and noticed his shoulders had started to shake. Surprised, she realised he was crying. She opened her mouth to yell at him for being such a pathetic wimp like she always did, but she found that she wasn’t able to do so.

For some reason she was able to understand how he felt. Because she… she felt the same. She felt the same pain, the same loss, the same emptiness.

Tentatively, she reached out to him, hesitating for a moment, before she put her arms around him, pulling him against her.

He felt so… fragile, trembling in her arms, like an empty shell of whatever person he might have been in the past, ready to shatter at the slightest push.

She didn’t know what to do or say. She had never comforted anyone before. And she had never allowed anyone to comfort her.

“Shinji, I… I am here for you”, she muttered awkwardly.

For some reason she felt as if she was about to cry herself, though she hadn’t cried for such a long time. Was she even able to cry?

She didn’t know.

All she could do was to stay here and hold this pathetic boy she had never liked. All she could do was rocking him in her arms, unable to mend his pain, unable to dump her own pain on him.

Because he was the only thing that was holding her. He was the only thing left in this dead world.

She felt somewhat detached, afloat on the sea of sorrow that was inside her. She didn’t even sense Shinji turning his head. She didn’t even sense how she brought her face closer to his until their lips touched.

It was neither a kiss of passion like she had dreamed she would have with Kaji, nor was it a spiritless kiss like the one they had had before. It felt wrong and yet she didn’t pull away.

It was a kiss of sadness, sorrow and pain, the only things they were able to offer each other.

Finally, when they drifted apart, Asuka felt something wet running over her cheeks.

Something inside her clenched up and she buried her head in Shinji’s shoulder, sobbing helplessly as long bottled-up tears of sadness poured out of her. 


End file.
